Lebogang Mashile: The South African Soul With A Rhythm

People often talk about the rhythm of life and the rhythm of the soul. I have heard the expression that we all have a rhythm for what we do, hence, the reason why we do it effortlessly. For example, TD Jakes once asked the question; do you have the rhythm of love? Do you have the rhythm of a wife? Do you have the rhythm of a mother? It made sense to me because not every woman is wired to be a wife or a mother. If you are a wife, you have the rhythm to be a wife to your husband and be a mother to the children that come from your love and still have time to nurture your home, make love to your man, take care of the kids, cook, clean, get them ready for school and on your way out the door, you remember to kiss your man. Now, rhythm in marriage is not one sided. It takes two and the man must have rhythm too.

My focus right now is not marriage; I was setting the scene up for you. You like that? Now stay with me.

I have heard poets and I have heard poets but Lebogang Mashile blew me away at the Southbank recently when she came down to London with the ‘Beyond Words’ team of poets. Wow! What a night it was. At 30, she had the audience fixated as they listened to her every word and move.

Don’t try to imagine this is one big lady, taller than everyone in the room and bigger than everybody to the contrary; she is of average height, built the way a woman like her should be built and she is a pretty lady with a funny American accent. She was born in the US during the Apartheid years but found her voice when she went back to South Africa over 14 years ago.

Lebo left university while she was reading Law because she just realised she didn’t want to be a lawyer anymore and she was already writing.

I have sat down with Lebo to talk and she reached and touched my soul. The words that come out of Lebo Mashile are the words of a woman who has lived and is now the source of wisdom for her children, grand-children and great-grand children. Lebo Mashile is a woman of Wisdom and I dare add great wisdom. One of the most intelligent people I have met lately and she knows what she is talking about, from politics to everyday life, fashion to the film world, she knows her stuff.

Lebo delivered poetry with rhythm. She spoke from her heart and danced to her words. She created music with her words; her voice was all the instruments she needed. If you were not there and you are lost where poetry is concerned, I am of the opinion that when you see and hear Lebo Mashile live, you will change your mind and fall in love with the rhythm of words.

That’s right, she knows how to make words make love to each other and sound so emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically healthy like two lovers making love without the cares of the world.

I was lucky to get one of her live albums and just finished listening again. I just had to write this blog entry because she had me bopping my head and dreaming dreams. When I got to the piece, ‘Every Child My Child,’ she took me back to that evening at the Southbank. My world, that poem had me in pieces. One of the most powerful things I have heard all year and of course, Lebo made it what it was. If you were there am sure you remember, ‘Every child, my child, wrapped in ribbon of rhythm.’ I hope I got that right!

I remember the first poem she did at the Southbank was ‘What Kind Of A Woman.’ If you don’t know the type of woman you are or you are in the discovery room, do get Lebo’s book, ‘Flying Above The Sky,’ and get yourself some piece of that powerful word.

Ms Mashile had the baby in me kicking with her words and I can’t wait until January when she is back at the Southbank. Lebogang Mashile, my South African sister, keep the words coming because I’m going to keep listening.

It Happened In My Lifetime - Stepping Out on A Wing and A Prayer.

A few months back, my contract at the place where I worked ended. I know anyone would kill to work at the BBC right? Even take whatever you are given, just so, you can say I work at the BBC. Don't get me wrong, it is a good learning ground and I learnt so much in the space of time I was in there. In fact, I made sure that I got as much out of it like I put into it.

But when the contract ended and the prospect of a new job was not offering itself, I asked around as to what was available. Of course, getting shifts was the most feasible option to go for, which I did get some and loved the experience and hope to get some more.

However, there was another role, which was just not for me. I thought about it, weighed it up, spoke to my mentor. Now this should make you laugh, she knows me so well, she said, if you take that, you are going to be depressed and I don't want you to go silent on me.

I happen to be one of those people, whose mind works faster than their body can keep-up with and if I am doing something I am not passionate about, I get depressed. The role that was on offer was such that when it was being pitched to me, I was told, I'm sure we can find a way to pay you. A kind offer but it was not journalism related. I studied and trained to be a journalist. That is all I dream of and of course other things I would like to do with my life. I can’t quantify the joy that bubbles in my soul when I see my name in print.

Now please, don’t get me wrong and I say this with all due respect...after a degree, a postgrad and spending 3 years gaining work experience...that did not sound very attractive to me.

However I was also scared. I was afraid that I won't have a job, afraid that I’ll no longer be able to say, I work at the BBC and people would be like oh! I was afraid of what I would live on and how I would survive. I was afraid that the cushion of being a student was not there for me to fall back on. I was afraid bottom-line because the world was in a recession and here I am, leaving my first full time job after studies.

But I knew that if I settled for anything because it’s better than nothing, then that would kill me faster than being jobless. So, I decided, we are going to give freelance a try and see how it goes. After all, I was doing that as a student in order to build my portfolio and I had learnt some good lessons along the way. This was in addition to the fact that I had built some good contacts and still building my contacts list.

And my world is the ‘freelance world’ scary. Editors have so many people to deal with; they might not get back to you for days and some might not get back to you at all. The chasing up and the most despondent of them all, the 'NO' that you get after five emails got to me. I felt undervalued and unimportant.

But the breakthrough came and it came one day at a time. It has not been easy, there have been tears and days when I locked myself away and didn't want to talk to a soul.
Days when Facebook became my escape route from dealing with the reality, days when the disparity between the vision and dream I carry inside me was so different to the reality of my present time and days when I cried until I could cry no more and my salty tears tasted comforting to me, days when I could not express what I felt because my soul was hurt by life's fair share and my spirit was really angry and wanted to beat up on life for being so unfair.

But then the morning of each day brought a new challenge, pitch an idea, wait and see...lately it has been better. The ideas are working and the platform to be a journalist is trickling in and I am doing a variation of things...challenging myself and my own intellect. I'm writing for publications whose ethos I believe in and admire a lot and can be picked up in different countries around the globe.

But this blog is because some of the things that may never have happened to me if I had stayed at the BBC with the job that was available at the time are happening.

It was the 25th anniversary of Wasafiri, a magazine of international contemporary writing and I took myself along to the Southbank. I went as an audience member and a journalist. And in my life time, I interviewed Ngugi wa Thiong'o and Kiran Desai and the editor of Wasafiri. Susheila Nasta.

If someone had told me that week that in one day, one email would give me access to two of literature luminaries, I would have said ‘No way, get out of town.’ But it happened to me and it happened in my lifetime. And I am very glad I stepped out on a wing and a prayer though fear sat deep down in my heart and there are days when I am still scared because I have no idea when the next commission will come through my inbox.

But If I had stayed in there just because I wanted to be able to say I work at the BBC, it may never have happened. This is not to say I would turn down a job at the BBC. I would give it great thought and if the shoe fits, wear it the right way. But for now, I would like this road of a wing and a prayer to take me places I never dreamt possible and open doors I never thought would open.

The unknown is scary but once you start on the journey of the unknown, you do learn a lot and the unknown becomes the known. It happened in my lifetime and I am still stepping out on a wing and a prayer.

Image: Google Images...

A Despondent Soul

I have often heard about people who committed suicide and I would get angry that they did that to themselves and didn't think of those they were leaving behind. I was so judgemental and I once commented that maybe there should be a public service where if you are feeling suicidal, you would go there, donate your organs and then ended it if you really wanted to.

But When I was on the receiving end of the very thoughts people who had taken their own lives may have experienced and didn't know how they were going to get out of it. I finally understood what it felt like to be backed in a corner and not have much to say in your own defence against your own thoughts.

I never thought it would be me. I am better and stronger than that. But in those few minutes and hours when my mind became so powerful and my will fighting to be heard, I learnt that people who take their own lives do so for many reasons. I am not excusing suicide and never will. But I think I'm beginning to understand the mind is one of the most powerful machines in the world. Not the ones we as men create but the very one that embodies our character, personality, dreams and aspirations; the very fibre of what holds us up and together when the going gets tough.

Next time, you hear that someone took their own life; before you get angry and judgemental, say a prayer for them and their loved ones. It is not easy to shake off despair and some people are not wired to handle it very well.

Image: Waves Of Despair Regina Lafay (http://survivorart.com/lobby.html)/Google

Not Another Decade of Skinny Africans

Last week, in fact, allow me to be precise. It was 22 October and I was watching ABC News with Charles Gibson. I have to tell you, I love me some Charlie. He has a sense of humour, well...a little and the way he ends the news programme is forever ingrained in my memory. He is about to retire and I wonder what I am going to do without Charlie.

But what stood out on the news agenda for the night was the fact that Ethiopia was once again struggling to feed its own people. Earlier in the day, I had read reports on the BBC News website and that the Ethiopian government and aid agencies were calling on the international community for help in order to avert another bout of famine.

I have to be honest that fear hit me like a boxer would hit a punch bag while practising. The images on the screen changed and all I saw was tiny little children like the ones we have all become so familiar with. The images that many would argue have come to define Africa. The ones the media just love to show, over and over to make the whole continent look like we are all starving. You know the ones I am talking about, the ones from 1984.

And I was worried. Worried that just when we are finally getting to the point of realisation that its time we tell our own stories and not allow others do the job for us, the trouble that might be bigger than us is about to unleash itself and invite the outside world to the masquerade dance of hunger; a dance that might leave another decade of images full of skinny Africans with their ribs showing like they are about to break. Another decade of Live Aid concerts to raise money for Africa, another decade of aid dependency, another decade of self-pity...another decade of trying very hard to re-brand ourselves. It will be another decade of heartache and pain for those affected by this new threat of hunger and famine. And these are the people we need to turn our attention to and ask why this is happening again?

The number one culprit at the moment and this is not me talking. This is what everyone is blaming…climate change. So, this is where I ask, Ethiopia is not one of the richest nations in the world and so does not produce the same amount of waste that goes into the atmosphere which in turn affects the world’s ever changing climate like a few countries I don’t want to bother my fingers and type their names. Why is Ethiopia bearing the brunt of the actions of those across the ocean?

Let’s not forget the issue of poor harvest and of course drought which some say is linked to the challenges imposed by climate change. Ethiopia is growing in population but does not have the social infrastructure to take care of its own citizens. And that is a scary thought just like it is with a number of African countries.

We cannot forget the way the nation is governed either and how this has contributed to the problems which just seem to compound year in and year out. Again, it is the same with a number of African countries. Hence, the question remains, what can we do to avert another decade of skinny Africans gracing the screen of every western media news programme you can think of like a cover girl graces the front of a magazine?

For me and I speak and write as an individual who hates to see other people suffering, how are we going to get Ethiopia to that place where it can take care of its own and provide for them? I admit I don’t want those images becoming what defines Africa again but I also want my fellow Africans to survive.

Image: ICONARCHIVE

MY NIGERIA

Is it the fact that we have one of the best national anthems in the world, which I can no longer remember the words. I know, shame on me but I can't sing ‘God Save The Queen,’ either. But I do I pledge to Nigeria my country.
To be faithful, loyal and honest
To serve Nigeria with all my strength
To defend her unity and uphold her honour and glory
So help me God.

So it’s October 1st and practically everyone’s facebook status is about the fri**ing independence. By now you can tell my patriotism is out the window today. You could say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. No, I am not angry at the people, whose facebook status is about Nigeria and its independence from colonial masters. I am pi**ed off at the fact that for almost 50 years, we have only had 10 years of civil rule which as things stand, is not civil at all.

It still feels like a dictatorship and the rich are getting richer while the poor wonders when their time to eat will come. We have a lame duck leader, who if I am fair to him tries but his best is just not good let alone good enough. Things are not getting better but worse. Rather than hear about how the president is making things work for the country, all I hear is how Fashola, Lagos State governor is making things better for Lagosians.

So, this is where my gripe begins...I never lived under a civilian government in all the years I was growing up in Nigeria, I know, seek counselling and get over it, right? But that’s not it. It has not left me starving for a perfect government. There is no perfect political party or government. For crying out loud, take a look at Britain’s New Labour, soon to become Old Labour and all their promises when they came into power; 12 years on, you do have to wonder where it all went wrong?

Let’s go one better, take a good look at the good old GOP…better known as the Bitter Republican Party of the United States. Talk about a bunch of sad grumpy old men who have nothing better to do than moan and moan about the fact that they lost the plot. And of course, you look at the leader of the free world, Barack Obama and his change programme, and the efforts being made to destabilise the change he wants to implement by the same people he is trying to lead. Goes to show you can never please mankind. So, don’t bother trying.

However, that is not the case in Nigeria. I am yet to hear of a Nigerian leader who put the needs of his people before his. If they are not busy stealing from us, they are busy killing us. Our current president is referred to as a snail, well, I can’t blame them. I was not born in the 60s but I hear the soldiers took over because they felt the civilian government was mismanaging resources. We will never know the truth because in all my 30 years, all they ever do when they get to power is take, take and take; those who desire to give back or help the people, they ‘waste’ them.

So, its 2009, the ninth year of the new Millennium and the current trend is kidnapping people who may have a penny or two to their names. What's interesting is that some of them have no political history just Nigerians taking their fellow country men for ransom. I wonder why they don't heap the same horseshit on the mugu politicians we have and get them to surrender the money they have been stealing for years. I wonder why IBB or Abacha's family have not felt the wrath of these angry young men. Why take ordinary people who have money, ill-gotten or not?

Education is in shambles. Many students have been waiting to graduate for months but are still waiting on ASUU to end its strike. Or is it the fact that while universities are on strike in Nigeria, the half dead president Umaru Yar’adua flies to Saudi Arabia to open a fri**ing university. If he was not inspired by what he saw to do right by his own people, I guess they have to start praying for the next election to come sooner than later.

Medical care is more like a slaughter house. People go to the hospital to get well but they end up dead because some joker didn’t know what was wrong and rather than tell them the truth, they lie to them in order to get their money and kill them. Knowing full well, no one can bring them to account. Imagine a friend goes for blood transfusion a few weeks back, and ends up infected with Hepatitis C. In addition to suffering from diabetes, he swells up in pain and dies. Though I have been dealt a similar blow when the doctors misdiagnose you and rather than tell you the truth, they sentence you to a life time of medication, hospital visits and surgeries and oh, did I mention the scars. You look in the mirror and you wonder, why me? But the game was on them because I'm not one to sit around feeling sorry for myself. Healthcare has gone from bad to worse.

Let’s not talk about the epidemic of corruption or the very fact that Nigerians have a reputation for being 419ers world over. The guilty and innocent suffer the same fate at airports and immigration offices. You know when you start getting the funny looks and they are looking at each other in recognition of your fraudulent passport be you guilty or not. In fact, you have Nigerians going to China, Bulgaria and Libya. And with all due respect, I mean, with all due respect, they are treated like second class citizens. Based on a recent documentary by Panorama, I saw Nigerians locked up like sardines in jail with men from other nationalities. They talked about being mistreated, I bet the Nigerian government saw it but cannot do a thing about it. Or is it the news story carried by Focus on Africa a few weeks back that some 200 Nigerians were to be executed and the fri**ing Nigerian government is not doing a thing about it. Instead, the silly Nigerian ambassador to Libya said it was not true, they are offering help and branded those who were not getting assistance criminals.

For crying out loud, a young British woman... well she is originally Nigerian but being British saved her life. She was meant to face the gallows a few months back was sent home from Laos because a, she was pregnant and b, the British government helped alongside Human Rights groups. Don’t get me wrong, I do not condole committing crime at home or in a foreign country but when there is harsh treatment, Western countries fight for their citizens but the Nigerian government, you will be lucky if you get a cup of water in a Nigerian jail let alone when you are locked up in a foreign jail.

Bottomline of the matter is that the government is as useless as you can get. What we have is a failed state and it has failed its people over and over. I mean why would anyone pack up and go to China, yes, I know it is a developing economy or go to Bulgaria if the different Nigerian governments, civilian and military in the last forty years used the country’s resources wisely? I bet you, Nigeria might be in the same group known as the BRICS (Brazil, India, China and South Africa) for being developing economies.

And please do not get me started about the level of unemployment. Young men and women graduate from university but have no job prospects. And if they find one, they either get it using their backside or their father pays for them to have a job. Those who get a job without paying for it or sleeping with an asshole are said to be the lucky few. When neither is possible, you have young women turning to prostitution as a way out. Prostitution becomes the way to desperately fulfil their dreams. Desperate Dreams are costly.

People are as poor as you can get. With no jobs and means of making an income, how are they expected to feed their families or pay for medical care? Nigeria is in an appalling state.

But there is also the side of my country I love and appreciate. The culture and traditions of the different tribes, you go to a Nigerian wedding, you might be lucky enough to get a glimpse of what I am talking about.

If anything is thriving at the moment, it is the entertainment industry, though I sometimes think we have lost our way in an ideology that's not original to us. Koko Mansion being the best example I can give. However, I also appreciate the work of Nollywood, good or bad, it makes an effort to tell the stories of ordinary Nigerians, the ones a westerner will hear and say no way, that’s not possible. I dare say, yes way it is possible in Nigeria.

This reminds me of the time I spent in the village while growing up. In fact it gave me some of my best memories. I still remember time spent by the riverside or my journey to the river. Hearing the trees sing and dance and the beautiful gentle breeze that comes with the music, you can’t beat that. The sense of community was and is still very strong. That’s one thing that you can never take away from my people. We help each other though there are also wicked people who do evil things.

I am not saying there is no form of development taking place. It is happening one day at a time but at a heavy cost to the millions of people suffering. This is where I say its time we ask ourselves where we go from here? We are going to be 50 next year, a significant year on the African continent with the World cup and the fact that several other African nations are going to be celebrating five decades of independence.

I think its time we ask ourselves what we are going to do next, continue like this because we think this is what God wants for us? For crying out loud, I am tired of the message that suffering is in the will of God. By all means excuse me on this. I don’t claim to know the whole bible but I know for a fact that there is no place where God condemns Nigeria to eternal suffering. Yes, we should pray Christians and Muslims but hell, I am sick and tired of the lie that the current state of Nigeria is the way God wants it. Its time we ask ourselves serious questions and since the politicians make it a point to make their faith part of their work, the religious leaders in the country need to start asking questions or they too can step aside and let God do his work by himself.

Nigeria and Nigerians have created a world that has different sides to it and they are all very contrasting. But if I come back in another lifetime, I want to be Nigerian. There is a sense of pride I see in my people which despite years of political mayhem, instability, corruption and abuse of power refuses to die. It is that sense of pride that makes us not give up and wherever we find ourselves in the world, we leave a mark. I love my people, I respect my people. I admire our resilience and hunger for success. I want us to do it right and I want us to do with our head held up high.

What Is This Thing Called Marriage? Part 1

Summer is that time of the year when you get all your dresses out, make all the 'make-ables', like a friend would say. And of course work on your dance moves. If you are the bride and groom, great! All attention will be on you on your big day. If you are a bridesmaid or groomsman, you will have to learn to smile form one side of your chin to the other in order to keep looking pretty.

I have always wanted to get married and still do. I know for a fact that I was not called to be celibate. But I hear and see it all the time, those who want to get married but can't meet the right person and those who are married but have moments when they wish they were single again. You can never please man. I wonder what the big man upstairs thinks about our indecisiveness when it comes down to what we really want.

I have never been a bridesmaid and quite honestly, I don't think I want to be one. My chin hurts when I smile a lot. Okay, before you throw stones at me, that was a joke but I happen to be someone who is very conscious of her surronding and people staring at me. So, I prefer being a guest and helping out than being on display.

That aside and back to what this whole drama of marriage is all about. I have had moments when I wanted to cry and indeed I cried because I thought there was something wrong with me and that's why no one has shown interest in that area and by no one, I mean a 'MAN'. Don't get it twisted, I am as heterosexual and straight as you can get. These days, one has to spell things out word for word and after getting a few nasties on a few social newtworking sites I belong to... I want to make it crystal clear, this lady is not interested in other women. Thank you!

So, I am in the middle of a conversation with my friend and the issue of marriage comes up. My friend of course is almost the same age as myself. She has just been to Nigeria and back. So, I teased and asked her if she got herself a man? Her response was no. I told her that was not good enough because these days people go home to get a man or a woman to play the role of husband or wife. Of course we laughed about it and then I proceeded to tell her that my father told me a few weeks ago that he would not mind if I married a man from Pakistan, which we both laughed about. You see, my father's logic is based on the fact that a few years back, a Pakistani doctor was one of the people who saved my life when I was between life and death. That made think and of course I told him that if saving my life is the pre-requisite for marrige, then I will be very nervous and of course my father being himself laughed and I laughed with him. Bless him!

To crown the comedy I was having with this whole issue of marriage, I get this in an email...

"Hello all,

Hope you're well.

I just wanted to gauge interest in a get together I'm thinking of doing...

Thought it would be great to have a ladies' night to get the lowdown on how to find and attract a good man.

:-D

I met Des O Connor recently, who's a dating coach and pitched as the female Hitch, and found him to be very funny, charming, and brimming with ideas. He does home parties where he can give tips, but they cost £10/head and he needs a minimum of 10 people there.

So, I thought he could share his insight and offer us tips. I have a friend who is a MAC make up artist so she can do a makeover for you for £10 if you're interested and if you want to buff your body for that prospective date, then I'll have great offers on Body Shop products. You know then that you can hit a venue immediately afterwards looking too damn good.

:-D

So, what do you think? Would you be interested in attending a dating party at mine? Unfortunately I can't offer you the fine mans afterwards, but at least we'll have the advice and tools to find him!"

I laughed so hard, my neighbours must have thought I had lost the plot. This made me think about how the tables have changed in the 21st century where marriage and relationships are concerned. In my mother's days, the man did all the work and the ladies had to sit pretty and wait to be taken. Now we have dating coach and you name it, every book under the sun about relationship has been written to enable us with the tools for attracting 'The One.'

The game has changed and it is still changing...you have to take into account that men have choices...a lot of them in addition to the very fact that some men...black or white are gay. And you have those who are in prison which will most likely make you not want to give him a chance. Then you look at the facts before you, his education level, how much money he makes and if he can afford to take care of you and the 2.5 kids you are going to have with him. Of course, you will look at the physique stats of tall, dark and handsome and if he is white, tall, tanned and handsome. A friend once that she would not mind buying the guy the shoes and teeth if he had none. And I bet this situation is the same for some men.

But if we are honest with ourselves, all of these requirements are fantasies...that's not to say you will not get what you want but most of the time, I know people who got what they needed where relationships and marriage is concerned and not what they wanted. I can tell you they are happy too. So, we do have to work on our expectations but by no means lower your standards or play anything down. And by that, I mean do not deny who you are, so someone will marry you. If you are more educated than he is, as long as he can handle it and be proud of you, why not? So what if you make more money than he does? Bottomline, you might be the boss at work but at home, you are his lady and like I have heard in the past, 'at home she is my girl.' And of course all of these points are vice versa for the men too. I know men are always supposed to the bread winners of the home and like Steve Harvey said, men like to know that they can provide and protect. Don't ever take away his ability to do that or you are going to have a docile brethen and then start wondering what happened.

The jokes aside, I am finally beginning to understand why a few friends I know used to complain about their parents once they hit 25 heading to the big 30. Now if you are African like me, you know the fact that we put a prize and price tag on marriage. If you are not married by a certain age, you might as well be a leper. Don't get me wrong, attitudes are changing and people are beginning to realise that marriage is not the be all and end all of a man or a woman's life.

There is so much to do, there are people whose lives you can make a difference to, dreams to pursue, visions to accomplish, purpose to fulfill...I could go on and on. But I also know that the desire to share all of your success with someone is just as strong if not stronger. Goodness, there is no need having a mansion for yourself alone. I mean, how many rooms are you going to sleep in? It is annoying eating on your own sometimes...be honest, if you enjoy cooking like I do...there are moments after cooking when I wish there was someone to dish a spoon or two for.

When I started writing this blog entry, it was because I was looking to find answers to the title of my entry. I believe I will find out as I grow and learn more about the subject of marriage. I wish I had all the answers but that would be boring.

To cut a long story short, the key is to keep discovering yourself, get yourself to do things you normally don't do. Doing interesting things make you interesting and every now and gain, reposition yourself in life by taking on a new challenge.

The key to joy does not belong to a man or a woman but belongs to you and it all comes down to what you want out of life. There will be life lessons along the way, some very painful ones, some joyful but if you stay in there and don't give up on life. It will happen. In the mean time, don't put your life on hold. Get up and start living.

Why I Respect Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

A few weeks back, though it seems like months now, I was at the Southbank for the BBC World Service Book Club with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

It was the first time I had seen her at a live event. She speaks with eloquence and confidence that can only belongs to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Her humility was and is still beyond me. For a writer who has three highly acclaimed books to her name, has won the coveted Orange Prize, has been a fellow at prestigious universities in the US, and her books have been translated into 30 languages, she is very grounded. If you didn't know she was Chimamanda, the author, like we say in Nigeria, you would say her 'Mother raised her well. And yes, she did. And did I add that she has a great sense of humour and describes herself as a ‘happy feminist.’

She shows a depth of gratitude to the people who read her books and still says she counts herself lucky that people will read her books. If it was me, I tell you, CNN is too small to tell the world about myself.

But this is not about me. It is about Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, an author I have the highest regard and admiration for. I have newspaper cuttings of her from 2008 when she won the Orange Prize. It is on my dream board alongside that of Christine Amanpour of CNN. The first woman I ever saw reporting from a war zone as a child during the first Iraq (Gulf) war. How many of you remember those khaki shirts and combat trousers? That's right. That's the great Ms Amanpour. Subconsciously, I think she is one of the reasons I admired journalism before I ever thought of becoming a journalist. I always wanted to be a criminal lawyer; you know getting the bad guys. But I changed my mind as I believe in the power of words more than I do in the justice system of the world in the 21st century. But there is hope. All men will get what they deserve at the right time, dead or alive. History has been known to do justice to a whole lot of folks and things around us.

Back to Miss Adichie, at the event, she said she is doing what she loves to do. She loves writing and it what she has always wanted to do. It soon dawned on me that she does not say things to score points with people. She says what she believes she needs to say. At 32, that is one heck of a staunch confidence and I throw my hat off to her in salute.

This is where she had me rooting for her all over again though I already like her books and think she is one author Nigeria as a nation will one day acknowledge for reminding us about a part of our history we are so happy and eager to forget, the ‘Biafra War’. For crying out loud, there are a lot of people my age, who have no idea what the war was about but they can tell you about the latest music and fashion trends. Yet, they have no knowledge of their history. She said she is a firm believe that Africa’s history should be written by Africans. I could not agree more. For so long our history has been distorted by lunatics who only spent two weeks in Africa and all of a sudden, they are African experts. I won’t mention names but you all know who you are.

This is not to take away from great historians and writers who have written about Africa but Africa has great stories that needs to be told, yet no one is telling it like we would like it told. Hence, let’s start telling our own stories after all, we have the unadulterated copyright to it. It is all around us, our parents know them and so do our grandparents. When was the last time you sat at the feet of an elder to hear an oral story? We need to go back to those fun times and learn about King Ododuwa, the great Jaja of Opobo, Oba Ovorame Nogbasi, who was exiled and deported to Calabar from the Ancient Benin Kingdom when the Europeans came to Benin or should I say when they tried to take over and he was having none of it. That’s right, never mess with a Benin man, he will cut you up.

She is not afraid or reserved about the truth. I mean how many authors will you hear say, Nigeria’s history is fractured? Well, with the exception of Wole Soyinka and Chinua Achebe. Or tell you straight up that she is not interested in telling propaganda stories and does believe that it is the work of fiction to be objective.

But I think this is where I have the utmost level of respect for her. Reading her books, I have noticed she does not shy away from calling her characters some strong Igbo names, you know the type you pull yourself together before saying a word. Some sentences/lines are even written in Igbo. For me, that’s a woman who is proud of her heritage. For someone who started writing at such a young age and thought writing about white folks was the way but soon changed her mind after reading ‘Things Fall Apart’ by one of Nigeria’s best authors, Chinua Achebe. It is cool to write about Africans and tell African stories.

‘Purple Hibiscus’ was a very moving story on different levels, ‘Half Of A Yellow Sun’ was a multi-layered book full of history and ‘The Thing around Your Neck’ is a collection of short stories which again depict Nigeria and Nigerians at their best and at their worst. But the humour is great. Once again, Adichie reminds us every now and again about the place where her writing started, the university of Nsukka. It is a place that features in her work. I think that is what heritage does to you. When you know who you are and you are proud of your roots, then the stories that come out of you reflect that you know who you are better than the world who tries to define you with a few boxes asking if you are Black British or Black African.

I remember being at University and reading books by African-American authors but had a university acquaintance who read books by British and other European authors. I used to think I was missing out on something and that it was un-cool to read books by African and African-American authors. So, I went out and bought books by Diane Atkinson among others. Please, don’t get me wrong, she is a great author and I respect her for her body of work. That was my secret but not anymore because these days, most of the books I read are by African authors. I’m hungry for their books and I have promised myself that for the next two to three years, that’s all I am going to do. That’s not to say I won’t read books by writers from the West or from others parts of the world. On my books to read list are plays by Tennessee Williams, ‘A Street Car Named Desire’ is at the very top that list. In fact it is starring at me as I type away. Then there are some fine books by authors like Elizabeth Noble, 'Things I want My Daughters To Know,’ Elizabeth Gilbert has a new book coming in August and after ‘Eat, Pray Love,’ you must really hate reading to miss her books.

So, I’m not boxing myself up but I plan to immerse myself in African literature like never before because it is about time I read about my own people and gain a better knowledge of our stories; be it from North, South, West or Eats Africa. I have never read anything by Ngugi Wa Thiong’o but will do so for the first time later this year with ‘A Grain Of Wheat,’ to be followed-up next year with ‘Petals Of Blood.’

For the books, the good stories, the humility and the good sense of humour, thank you Miss Adichie and for being a proud Nigerian/African writer. Keep them rolling because we are going to keep reading them.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's website

Image of Author by Beowulf Sheehan Photograpghy and it was taken from Google.

I'M NOT YOUR KOKOLETTE.

“You cannot write with your hands chained.” Helon Habila.

When I first heard about KOKO Mansion, I had to know what it was all about and why so many people thought it was a good laugh. Without a doubt, it is a good laugh. After all, our ability to laugh at ourselves served as a good source of comic relief during decades of brutal military rule. We called IBB Maradona for his ability to wiggle his way out of tight situations and he is still the butt of jokes for a number of comedians. Why the hell not? Today, it is fair to argue that we have become somewhat desensitized to a lot of bullsh*t that otherwise would not have been okay some decades ago. But guess what, we can still joke about it and we even have comedy nights dedicated to it, all in the name of not taking ourselves too seriously.

That's what happens when you have liberty. However, I wonder if our liberty is helping us because we seem to accept the unacceptable in the name of liberty and refuse to take action for the real liberty that we have a right to as Nigerians. We excuse a few things in the name of catching up with the West but its okay, we are developing. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the way we have moved up the ladder in a whole lot of things. I mean we have world class writers, winning The Orange Prize, The Caine Prize and others who are doing great things. We have a generation who is hungry for success and hustling to do whatever it takes to make it happen. Though it breaks your heart to see what some are doing but what choice have they got when there is no support network to make it happen.

Before I continue, you are more than welcome to call me an arm chair critic, I mean, Wole Soyinka gets it everyday but that has not stopped the creative spirit in him or his ability to be vocal. I believe he recently categorised democracy in Nigeria as lacking. Though not his exact words but the man still tells it like it is. Take it or leave it.

Back to the issue with KOKO Mansion, I am not a big fan of reality TV but I have given some thought to the whole idea and I am tempted to say… in fact, I’ll say this. It serves the purpose of keeping people entertained if this is your idea of entertainment. Second, it sure helps to keep the man in whose name it has been created on our minds, record sales and popularity soaring. And of course, the ratings for the channel on which it is been shown are going to go through the roof. It is going around the world and you have people in London talking about with the help of cable TV, what more could you ask for?

That said, what I can’t understand is the reason we think that getting a group of women into one house and creating an all ‘Female’ version of ‘Big Brother’ is a great idea that would revolutionise the way we view television in Nigeria.

Now let’s take a look at the name, KOKO Mansion and the ladies or should I say girls are called Kokolettes. Right there, they have been commodified and for the rest of their lives, there is a big possibility that they will remain commodities owned by the Nigerian media. Then you take a look at the prize the winner stands to take home and you are tempted to say, wow! Which for a lot of people is indeed wow? Otherwise, how else will they ever get such an opportunity to acquire the things on offer? But the biggest game prize on offer is EXPOSURE. Damn it, these girls are smart. And I might not like the show but I respect their savviness to recognise opportunity when they see it because they are taking it with both hands and milking it for all that it is. ‘Their mama born them well jare!’

Out of curiosity, I have become a fan on facebook and was reading through the different comments of other fans. Some have gone to great lengths to prove their point; others have become rather rude and obnoxious, which in my opinion is uncalled for. Let everybody express their views without suppressing it with yours. And some people have taken it rather personally but the comment which stood out and got my attention was one made by a lady who said, ‘If it was a white man behind this show, we Nigerians would say it is great and support it.’ That I am afraid is true to a certain degree. I’m afraid the mentality which dictates a white man might be better at something still persists in our society. If you don’t believe me, bid for a contract and let a white man also put in a bid and then wait and see who will get it. You all know I am not off the mark on that one. It has happened so many times that we are now used to it because we think, they will do it better. No disrespect intended at any race, just being honest and you know that’s how it is.

When I got to the fan page, I had a good look at the pictures and when I got to the album of the press briefing, felt really sick. It was all men sitting at the table answering questions. Talk about a bunch of f***ing chauvinistic a** holes…and then you take a look at the marketing images and that tells you what these a**holes think women are. (Pardon the Frenchies but that’s how the words flowing right now and my hands can’t be tied)

Then you move on to read the profiles of the contestants and you can see we have come to define success as being famous and the best way to get it is through notoriety or any which way possible. No matter how bad or the means involved. Reuben Abati was not off the mark after all with his article, ‘A Nation's Identity Crisis.’ Brother was on point because he said it all. You might not agree with him but the symptoms on display corroborate his point. And I have a strong feeling that people missed his point and that’s why they all got worked up about it.

Some of the contestants have said they came there for the exposure not the money. At least they are honest and three Kokolettes have made it clear that their ambition is to be in the entertainment industry and be media moguls but no one is as blunt as Kokolette Chioma. Chioma is described as a talented musician who has no time to disguise her motivation for participation on the show. “I’m here for the money, because when I get the money, I’ll be able to produce my songs, and the popularity will help too, because for you to succeed in the entertainment business, you need to be known,” she says. Hell she is right? Being a dumb a** won’t get you far.

Before we continue, take a look at kokolette Victoria, she has a lot of dreams and girl, keep dreaming because that’s a lifeline you have going for you already. But her dream includes running a successful travel agency, producing international standard movies, and owning a video-vixen agency. Let’s stop right there.

You and I know one of the most famous video-vixens the world of hip-hop has given to us to date is none other than… Karrine Steffans and that I would have to say ‘MBA’ better explained as HELL NO. That is not a dream but license to open a prostitution centre with scantily clad ladies as the ultimate prize. Why do you have to think taking your clothes off with the men fully clothed and then shaking your two cents booties and titties is the best way to make a living? Now I know it pays the bills and gets you noticed but you and I know full well, our parents had rather be dead before they see that happen. Well, some of them…All the same, that is no dream. We are better than that. Its her dream and I have no right to deny her but come on people, we are a society with cultures and traditions and a lady who smokes is still considered a prostitute in some cultures, let a lone one who decides to put her titties and booties on public display.

But this is what pained me the most, watching and listening to Kokolette Rita, who finds it very challenging to string a few sentences together. Her profile reads, “I came here because I want to get exposure, not necessarily because of the money, because if I represent myself well, the future will give me more money than the prize money.”

And it is because of Rita that I felt compelled to write this piece. It would be so easy to laugh at her inability to string a few sentences together after watching a video of her presentation. But then you read her profile and get to this, “I can prove myself as a woman because I know my left from my right.” You see, Rita’s ambition according to her profile was inspired by an emotionally daunting experience a few years ago, when she was sent packing from school for her parents inability to pay her school fees – as she remembers, her dad was broke, and the rich folks she knew berated her for being poor instead of helping her with the required sum to pay her school fees – that incident introduced her to how cold the world was to the poor. “It was after this incident that I swore to myself that I was going to succeed in life.” who wouldn’t make that vow when you have hot tears streaming down your face and you have been given a coat of shame you have no control over or the ability to shake off. But she is trying desperately to shake it off. She is and for that, I am tempted to say ‘Come on Rita, go on, give it your best shot’ though we all know, she stands little or no chance of winning but then again, never judge a book by its cover.

This reminds me of a new book by Chika Unigwe, ‘On Black Sisters' Street,’ where she takes a look at the lives of Nigerian prostitutes in Belgium. In an interview with BBC World Service, she talks about the fact that she was shocked to discover a large population of the prostitutes in Antwep, Belgium were Nigerians. That was back in 1995 and today is no shocking news.

Therefore I agree with her that the current state of things calls for the government to be indicted and I would like to add that they be should be indicted for treason. They have betrayed our trust and confidence for too long, taken away the future of our children and it’s about time someone starts to pay. Kokolette Rita should not have to struggle to speak good English. She should never have been thrown out of school. Nigeria is too wealthy a country to have young beautiful women like Rita who cannot speak Standard English and have no education. Yes, English is our second language but hell, we deserve better.

The word Kokokette is open to a varied number of interpretations and knowing my people, I bet you have young boys who think its now okay to call girls Kokolettes. Sorry, I’m not your Kokolette. To ensure I was not overacting or reading too much into this good comedy, I asked a few male friends what they thought of the whole show, by the way, they are Nigerians and way older than me. One thing was pertinent and for them, it was degrading to women. If the men are saying that, then I rest my case.